I have been doing some huge research lately about Gastric Sleeves and well Bariatric surgery in general. This is something I have thought about in the past not the Gastric Sleeve exactly but surgery as a tool to help with my weight loss. Last week, I met with a psychologist for the clearance I need to move forward toward having this surgery. That is if I even decide to have the surgery but I figured in my quest for knowledge it was the right step to take. Some would think I was crazy for spending $150.00 on a Psych evaluation (they don’t accept insurance) but after spending an hour with this women I feel closer to a decision, more informed and at peace.
She herself had the procedure done and it was recently. Four weeks to be exact. She looked great not super skinny. I mean obviously this stuff doesn’t happen over night but she appeared very happy with her decision and was not in any pain. I have been really concerned about the pain. She said there has been obvious changes in her life but it has been all for the best for her. She said that she was also on the fence about the surgery for a long time but ultimately decided it was the best for her. If you were wondering she was not super busy or anything more she was just sharing her experience and that it was my decision and I needed to be positive of what I was doing and that it was right for me before I continued my journey. I really appreciated that from her. I really hate when people try to sell me things. We did not go into detail about the procedure but if anyone is wondering you can find it here.
We talked about my weight gain. We talked about my childhood and we talked about Mr. X. I know, I have not mentioned him in a long time if ever really on this blog. I will never blame him for me gaining weight because I was never a skinny girl but I was athletic and healthy. It was a trying time for me and I just gave up on myself more than words can even describe. I think she was shocked when I said I knew I did this to myself. Long story short discussing all the things that affected me in that relationship. We both realized it is a huge thing that still affects me to this day that I have never fully gotten over all that happened to me. Though I have moved on and have great coping skills. I still have the broken pieces inside of me. She recommended a trauma therapist. I will admit at this moment I thought she was insane but when she explained why she felt that way it made prefect sense to me. While I haven’t been away at war, or in a traumatic accident but I have went through a pretty horrible experience. Needless to say a week later I have not made the appointment with that therapist. I am going to but just have not yet. I have no real good reason.
At the end of our meeting she said she would 100% approve me for the surgery. Though right after that she said she would not recommend it for me. That is what I liked most about her. She was honest. She said she would approve me. Ultimately leave the choice up to me but that she feels I have some other things to work through and that she can see me being successful on my own with out the drastic decision of surgery. This coming from a women who had the surgery herself was huge.
I am going to continue going to the appointments I have scheduled and go to the classes I have coming up because I need to make a fully informed decision but after a week of serious thinking. I am thinking I don’t want surgery. I more than ever feel that I can do this on my own. When I say on my own, I mean with the help of my many trainers, nutritionist and super supportive friends and family. What I keep thinking is I DID THIS TO MYSELF, I CAN UNDO THIS.
Lastly, I hate carrots. I have been munching on them all week at work and they are horrible.