Occasionally (okay…a lot of times) I like to take a stroll through ModCloth to see what sort of amazingly adorable and cute and drool-worthy designs they offer so I can weep over how broke I am and daydream about what I would buy on a massive shopping spree.
Occasionally (okay…a lot of times) I see something on ModCloth that makes me do a double take, which in web surfing terms means squishing my eyebrows closer, putting my face up close to the computer and then right-clicking on the image to save it on my computer to lol at later. Like this “Top Hits Dress” which was apparently designed by some Danish person or company. Like, seriously, ModCloth? I’m all for supporting independent designers and whatnot but I think you have to draw the line at some stuff. Who in their right mind would think “Yes, I am looking for a sweater dress that draws direct attention to my groin. This would be perfect for days when I’m feeling bloated on my period or self-conscious about the little pouchy gut that numerous trips to the gym won’t ever get rid of, because that’s the way Nature works. Oh, and I’d also like some gold lame on it, so this area right below my waist literally SHINES with intrigue.”
It’s labeled as a “multi-colored abstract kangaroo pocket” but all I see is a giant open smiling mouth, as if this poor mannequin’s belly was grinning with joy and disbelief that someone would actually wear this. Here’s a close-up, if you’re interested.