#Reverb10 Part V

December 17 – Lesson Learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

I have learned I am stronger than I ever thought I was. I learned I am able to look past the bad and see the good and see past the cloud to see the sun shining. Before the end of 2009 and in 2010 I never thought I could handle different things. Examples: 9-5 jobs, broken hearts, breaking other people’s hearts, my mother etc.  First 9-5 jobs will not kill me, I am stronger than them and when I get down about the conformity I remember what my dad said which is that we have to work 8 hours a day 5 days a week to do whatever we want the rest of the time and we are not sacrificing who we are by doing it. Maybe he is right, I am still me with my individual beliefs but sometimes I have to suck it up. I am stronger than the man and I never realized it before. I was always worried about my heart being hurt. I use to think I could not handle it and I use to sit in a comfortable state and just be, screw that. Love is meant to be hard, meant to break you down sometimes and I am stronger than that. As for breaking other people’s hearts it use to bother me just as much as my heart getting broken but not anymore there are casualties in every war. I am stronger than my mothers quirks and when I realized that I realized that she was an amazing woman. I am I proud of the aggravation she causes me because she is why I am who I am today.  I am stronger than all of this, stronger than I ever pictured myself to be and I am moving forward into 2011 and beyond knowing I have the ability to conquer the world.

December 18 – Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?

I have a page on here called the list.  It is a list of things that I want to accomplish before I am 30. Some people might look at it and think wow that is a silly list but really I don’t think it is. I am keeping it simple and things that I find important. As I get closer to 30 I seem to find more thing to add. I first would like to finish the things I have in progress : Put my hand in ten of the world’s natural oceans & bodies of water (Lake Erie, Lake Ontario, Lake Michigan, Atlantic Ocean, Gulf of Mexico) I am going to hopefully add a few more to this list. Participate in Nablopomo Seriously going to do this and finish 30 days of truth. Complete a No Spend Month Serious and going to do that soon than later so I am able to go on my vacation I want. Have sex in all 50 states (18/50) Knock off a few more states. Watch the Oscar-winning Best Pictures of each of the past 20 years. New things off the list I really want to get done in 2011. Take Zumba and Yoga classes. Begin and finish my cookbook. I have to say I tried everything I wanted to try in 2010 and am completely satisfied.

December 19 – Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

My heart, soul and ego. None of this healing was sudden and the drip was very slow. My heart was mangled over the last few years. Broken does not begin to describe the damage done to my heart since 2006. I will say the healing started in late 2009 but the full recovery came in 2010. I had to learn how to love again. I had to learn how to feel again. The same could be said for my soul. I was numb because my heart and soul were mangled. My ego was healed because up until 2010 I was living a world of I can’t do betters and I wish I was. I was a broken shell. I am no longer that shell. I am rebuilt from the ground up. As for healing for 2011 I would like to heal friendships. I plan on reaching out to a few people I have lost along the way as a result of 2006 til 2010.

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