Most people have brains that work in analog. I am not one of them. My brain is digital. Mr. X told me that once and the more I think about it, it is the truth. My greatest power my mind is also my biggest flaw. I hate that I can never turn off my brain. I never have a moment when I can just turn it off.
My greatest compliments from friends and Ex-lovers is how smart I am. I know I am smart but I guess I want to be stupid for a day. I want a compliment to come from something completely shallow like I have nice boobs or something of that nature. On that same note these same people tell me I am to smart for my own good. I think they are right. I can read a book in under an hour but I can never take the time to enjoy the words my mind doesn’t allow it. I analyze it, pick it apart. I have a hard time conversing with many people because my mind is everywhere and well they bore me. I should be nice to them but it would give me a head ache. I get angry at work and start yelling like Gordon Ramsey when the scallops are under cooked. (No I do not work in a kitchen his anger merely reflects my own.) I just don’t get how everyone can not function on my level.
Sure many people say I am blessed to be smart and have a mind that runs at different level but that blessing is also a curse. People talk to me and think I am strange because I just don’t care about network news or whatever new bounty hunter show is on TV. My family has suffered from this blessing because I don’t care about day-to-day conversations I don’t care who married who or what their kid did to land in the back of a police car. I don’t want to do the same things as them, I try but I fail miserably. I rather have a conversation about a book, politics or really just enjoy the silence. Boredom is common and I often feel like the outcast.
Don’t get me wrong I would not change any of it because it makes me who I am.